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The Frumious Bandersnatch

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Nobody loves the Moon Pies [Oct. 8th, 2009|06:19 pm]
Southern astrological signs

Some people (especially Southerners) are pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what they need are their own “Southern” astrological signs.

OKRA (Dec 22 – Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 – Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he’s motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 – Mar 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

MOON PIE (Mar 21 – Apr 20)
You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It’s a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Or – maybe not.

POSSUM (Apr 21 – May 21)
When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don’t-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won’t work and you may find your problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 – June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 – July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence with the essence of those round them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 – Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one’s whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 – Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 – Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best – your friends and loved ones – may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 – Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 – Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.
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internal climates [Oct. 8th, 2009|08:15 am]
I like my horoscope for this week:
"The poet Stephen Mallarme wrote the following in a letter to a friend: "I don't know which of my internal climates I should explore in order to find you and meet you." I love that passage. It alludes to one of the central facts about the nature of reality: The quality of your consciousness is crucial in determining whether you'll be able to attract the resources that are essential to your dreams coming true. In order to get what you want, you have to work on yourself at least as hard as you work on the world around you. This is always true, of course, but it's especially true for you now, Aries."
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(no subject) [Sep. 27th, 2009|03:40 am]
I don't know why this just popped into my head BUT...on TrueBlood...if a human injests a vampire's blood they form a bond and they can pretty much feel eachother's feelings and whatever right? Like with Sookie & Eric.

So.....if Sophie-Ann (the queen of Louisiana) is having Eric make Lafayette sell her blood as V.....doesn't that mean that she's going to basically have an almost psychic connection with every single human in the south who buys it?

Humm.....
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DD&GG + M 4 eva [Sep. 7th, 2009|03:38 am]

Dear DirrtyDutch Chocolate Cake & GlamorousGuava CheeseCake,

You're both such naughty naughty cakes and I'm fucking awesome enough to say that I had both of you this evening. And I wasn't even like "Oh Baby, Dutch you're my one and only" and then had Guava when you weren't looking. Hell fuckin' no!

I had you both at the same time! You were even on the same plate together!

And. you. fucking. loved. it. Don't lie. I know you did.
And I'd do it again.

bitches
<3 Mike.
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So this is what makes life divine? [Sep. 4th, 2009|12:19 am]
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USA! USA! [Aug. 18th, 2009|12:46 pm]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]
[Current Music |nuttin']


click on map for larger version


Welcome to the United States of America. All 68 of them. Since before the civil war there have proposals for new states, territories, soverign nations and even kingdoms in the US. And this is a nifty map of what the county might look like with all of them as new, individual states. When the proposals were made, some didn't have definite state lines so I'm sure the boundaries are totally off for most of them, but it's still cool to see the general idea.

It's kinda weird to think of Los Angeles not in California, but in a state called Atzlan. That New York City, Philidelphia, and Newark are all in one state called Lenapehoking. That Georgia is split down the center so that Atlanta is now in a new state called Onconee. New Orleans is now in West Florida.

Weird shit. But still...kinda cool.
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...and they have a plan...I think... [Aug. 14th, 2009|12:30 am]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]



Soooo....let me get this straight. In the 70's there was a TV show called "Battlestar Galatica". Then in the 00's they made a NEW "Battlestar Galatica" TV show that was a "re-imagination" of the original TV show. And NOW...they've announced that they're going to film a "Battlestar Galatica" movie..........except that it's not going to be based on the original OR the re-imagined TV shows....but a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW re-imagination.

Does this really need to happen?

Maybe the new re-imagination of the show will be, instead of cylons looking like people, they look like giant robot teddy bears and they just want hugs.


hugs?


Oh...and Brian Singer is directing it, so it can't be worse than X2. ...
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Chubby Sleeping Baby [Aug. 11th, 2009|11:24 pm]
[Current Music |tori amos - home on the range]

While this is a lovely picture of my nephew Ben, I'm far more entertained by the chubby, sleeping baby to the left.



Oh chubby sleeping baby...I don't know who you are, but you please me.
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maybe it's because [Aug. 10th, 2009|03:07 pm]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]
[Current Music |ben folds - you don't know me]

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One Year Walking Across China [Aug. 5th, 2009|03:28 am]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]

The Longest Way 1.0 - one year walk/beard grow time lapse from Christoph Rehage on Vimeo.

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You look like you're up to no good. [Jul. 30th, 2009|11:47 pm]
Good is subjective. If you don't believe me, you can look it up.


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Dame un Break [Jul. 27th, 2009|10:45 am]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]


kinda looks like the manager of the gift shop
for the museum I use to work at. She was a husky gal.


Walter, meet everyone. Everyone, meet Walter...the first person to make me very confused about gender identity as a child. For those of you who've never watched Telemundo before, Walter here is a very (very very very) famous psychic and spiritual adviser.

He wears capes.

Anyway, he came up in conversation yesterday and a friend of mine was telling me that Walter use to be a Telenovela actor and I found that amazing and warranted a look-up on Wikipedia and one of the lines of his entry caught me as odd:
"...His main philosophy is about love in action and faith in one reality, God, although he does not particularly agree with Leviticus."


wtf. That's a REALLY random thing to say for an article opening.

For those of you sinners who don't know any better, Leviticus is a book of the Torah (or Old Testament of the Bible) and deals mainly with priestly rules and regulations. What's clean, what's not clean, what not to stick your dick into (women on the rag and gay men) and what to kill for particular offerings. It's very outdated stuff but was supper state of the art at the time...or...something. But anyway, That's a really random comment. No one really outside of people of the Jewish faith (and even then, not all of them) follow Levitical law so I find it odd that this would be included. Christians, for the most part, disregard the rules and laws of Leviticus (but they DO love to jump on that whole "homosexuality is a sin" thing) so........are we trying to say, in a round about way, that Walter here is a big old gay?

...is that something that needs to be hinted at? I mean...we can SEE him with our eyes and stuff. It's fairly obvious.

In other news, I hung out with this llama this weekend:



I forget his name and, no, he didn't spit at me.
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......seriously? [Jul. 23rd, 2009|04:02 pm]



this one is filed under "Things that don't need to exist"
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Totally Random [Jul. 21st, 2009|08:27 am]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]
[Current Music |cars driving through rain]

These were all just random images I've had sitting on my desktop.


..... )

The End
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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2009|12:57 am]
[Current Location | Boerum Hill]





Ben's eyes can see into your soul.
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20 Musicals [Jul. 10th, 2009|03:24 am]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]
[Current Music |birds tweeting]

Totally gay, I know...but I was asked to make a list of my 20 favorite showtunes. I changed it to "songs from musicals" because not everything on my list was from something that was on broadway (or even on stage for that matter). So here's the list I came up with (in no particular order):

1. "I Still Believe" from Miss Saigon. I've seen Miss Saigon twice (both times at the Wang Center in Boston) and I loved it. If you haven't seen it and have the opportunity, you should check it out. Think: "Madame Butterfly set during the Vietnam War". Seeing that I love me some Lea Salonga I much prefer her version of the show. I think this original London cast recording is top notch. The song is a duet between Kim (the Madame Butterfly character) who's living in poverty in Vietnam and Ellen, the American wife of Chris (the Lt.Pinkerton character) who knows nothing of Kim's existence since Kim predates her and Chris thinks Kim died in the fall of Saigon.

2. "The Prolgue" from Little Shop Of Horrors I don't know why I like this so much, but I would get the movie out of the library and listen to this song over and over again. Is there something that thrills me about a singing, dancing, omnipresent triad of black women in ugly dresses? Yes...yes there is. If there is someone out there who hasn't seen this movie and doesn't know the plot here you go: it's a musical about a sentient plat that eats people. Go see it.

3. "Bewitched, Bothered, And Bewildered" from Pal Joey. I've never seen this musical and I have no idea what it's about. I just love Ella Fitzgerald. The link goes to the imeem website cause I couldn't find the particular version that I liked on youtube.

4. "Hopelessly Devoted To You" from Grease. I'm not a MASSIVE fan of Grease as a show, but I was a HUGE fan of the TV show Pushing Daisies in which Kristen Chenoweth's character Olive Snook is overcome with feelings for her boss that she bursts into song. You can see the scene here. I loved this show. I'm sad they canceled it.

5. "Falling Slowly" from Once. Here is one of the musicals that wasn't a stage production. Good movie, kinda a downer (well not really but..yeah) I enjoyed it.

6. "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from My Fair Lady. I like the broadway/Julie Andrews version over the movie/Audrey Hepburn version (sorry Audrey). This particular one isn't the cast recording that I like the most, but it's close. If you haven't seen this show, check it out. It's about British people talking funny and there's a part where they wear big hats. I like big hats.

7. "Oh What A Beautiful Mornin'" from Oklahoma! which is a musical about horny, singing cowboys...who all end up getting married (sucks how that happens, right?). Anyway, if you're from Oklahoma I'm almost certain that I've burst into song and sung this to you. If I ever marry a horny cowboy I insist everyone at the wedding sings this. Oklahoma....yow! (should be their state motto)

8. "I Wish I Could Back To College" from Avenue Q. One of those songs that, while light-hearted, totally hits home (well for those of you who went to college in the first place anyway). Don't know anything about this musical? Just know this: singing...masturbating....puppets. Yes...

9. "And I Am telling You" from Dream Girls. Yeah the gays totally love this song and while I think Jennifer Hudson did a lovely job of it from the movie, I really prefer Jennifer Holiday's version from the original Broadway cast recording. I didn't have the patience to pick through all the you tube videos of it, but I did find this video from the 1982 Tony awards of Holiday belting it out (you have to skip to 3:32 when the song starts)

10. "You Can't Stop The Beat" from Hairspray. Besides John Travolta being a creepy fat Cher type with a weird Minnesota accent....I like the movie soundtrack. Is it because Alison Janney is in it? Could be.

11. "Something Good" from The Sound Of Music. The song is short and simple and sweet. Maria and the Captain sing it to eachother in a very "Wow! totally awesome karma we got to fuck!" kinda way.

12. "Maybe" from Annie. This was my sister's favorite movie/musical growing up and so when we got a bit older if someone was having a "pity party" she would say that they were off "singing sad orphan songs" and I just thought that was delightful...and this is certainly a particularly mournful orphan song (Who collects ashtrays anyway?).

13. "Show Off" from The Drowsy Chaperon. One of those shows within a show kinda thing. I went and saw this show not knowing anything about it and it was (a)hysterical and (b)awesome and Sutton Foster is also (a)hysterical and (b)awesome.

14. "Send In The Clowns" from A Little Night Music. Yet another musical that I haven't seen. I just like this version with Glen Close singing, it reminds me of times (not good or bad, just times in general).

15. "Turn back, O Man!" from Godspell. For a musical about the Gospel of St. Matthew there are certainly a lot of hippies. This song is actually a hymn written by Clifford Bax in 1919. I much prefer the version on the original Broadway cast recording BUT I couldn't find it...only this version from the movie (which I've never seen) so we'll just suffer through that one.

16. "America" from West Side Story. Maybe I just wanted to wear a frilly dress, I don't know, but this was one of my favorite parts of the movie (yes...the MOVIE, I liked it more that the stage version...bite me). I think this is one of my favorite Musicals and I know all the words to all the songs and will sing them if provoked while I'm intoxicated (hell...I'll do it sober too).
For those of you who hate West Side Story, would you watch it if it was a zombie movie?

17. "How Long Has This Been Going On?" from Funny Face. This song is from the movie version of the musical of the same name, however most of the songs were written for the movie. My favorite version is a cover by Rufus Wainwright that he did during his Rufus Does Judy At Carnegie Hall concert. The link above goes to another imeem page as I couldn't find it anywhere else so sorry if you don't have an account. If you wanna see the clip from the movie with Audrey Hepburn singing you can see it here (the movie itself is kinda on the....dumb side, but has really awesome clothes in it)

18. "On My Own" from Les Miserables. As I stated in number 1, I love me some Lea Salonga, so my favorite version is this one from the 10th anniversary concert with the original London cast. I feel like she gets kinda fast halfway though the song and that always trips me up...I still love it though.
By the way, Les Miserables isn't about the French Revolution. It's actually suppose to take place AFTER the French Revolution. You learn something new every day.

19. "New World" from Dancer In The Dark. Yet another musical that was never on stage and was one movie that I thought was truly amazing and yet I really have no problem never seeing again. Staring Bjork this is pretty much an anti-musical where things start off badly and then spiral downwards and get worse until everyone is run over by a truck at the end and dies. Well no, that's not true but Bjork and her little Icelandic pixie face kinda rips out your heart and stomps on it a bit while shrieking something about watermelons and Eskimos (well...something like that anyway). Great music though, totally worth the one watch.

20. "All That Jazz" from Chicago. Personally, no offense to Bebe Neuwirth, but I'm going with the Catherine Zeta-Jones/Movie version as my favorite. Just because.


And so there you have it (I didn't put this under a cut because I'm a horrible person)
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first day of my life. [Jul. 10th, 2009|12:47 am]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]
[Current Music |bright eyes - first day of my life]

I haven't listened to this in awhile...

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P-p-p-poker face [Jun. 29th, 2009|04:16 am]
Haha too fun. I love shit like this:


(yeah I know it's not a REAL orchestra...but still...it's cool)
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yikes [Jun. 15th, 2009|01:19 am]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]

I saw this picture on a google ad link for some website and I couldn't help clicking on it cause the guy's neck in the picture on the right will give me nightmares.






::shivers::

I like the fat version's hair more.
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slow poof [Jun. 2nd, 2009|05:48 pm]
[Current Location |Boerum Hill]

I love how my hair slowly poofs itself up over the course of the day.

(left) 6am - (right) 6pm



(please excuse the water bottle in my mouth. I'm super classy, I know)
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